Why guests don’t come to your church after a big event

For six straight years, a church in a mid-sized town hosted one of the best community barbeques you could imagine. The food was incredible. Smokers fired up at dawn, volunteers served mountains of pulled pork and ribs, and the aroma drifted across the neighborhood like an open invitation. People came from everywhere — families with kids, retirees looking for conversation, even city officials. The average attendance? About 650 every year. Not bad for a church that worshiped around 175 on Sundays.

The church members loved the event. They called it their “annual outreach.” They worked hard, smiled big, and sincerely hoped people would come to church the next day — or maybe the next Sunday. But here’s the punch line: after six years, the number of guests who actually showed up for worship was zero. Not one family. Not one curious visitor.

The members scratched their heads. “We feed them,” one said. “We’re friendly,” another added. “We give out flyers and put signs everywhere.” They couldn’t understand why a crowd of hundreds could enjoy the food, enjoy the people, and never darken the doors of the church building.

This church’s story isn’t unusual. I’ve seen it in towns across America. Churches put tremendous energy and money into events — fall festivals, concerts, car shows, you name it — and then wonder why no one returns. It’s not that the events are bad. In fact, they’re often excellent. The problem is deeper — and it’s rarely about the barbeque.

Members do not connect with the guests beyond the event

Most church members assume friendliness and connection are the same thing. They’re not. Smiling while handing someone a plate of barbeque is nice — but it’s not a relationship. Saying “Glad you came!” as a family walks away is courteous — but it’s not connection. At most big church events, the interaction stops the moment the guests leave the parking lot.

The folks in that barbeque church were genuinely kind people. They worked hard, served food with enthusiasm, and even prayed that people would visit the church afterward. But when the event ended, they went home, tired but satisfied that they had “done outreach.” They didn’t realize outreach hadn’t even begun.

True connection happens when church members step beyond the event itself. It’s when a member sits with a guest at a picnic table and asks about their family. It’s when someone follows up with a simple text saying, “It was great to meet you today — let’s grab coffee sometime.” It’s when members invite guests into their homes, not just to their church.

Most unchurched people aren’t looking for a church event — they’re looking for a relationship. They’ll gladly attend something that’s fun and free, but what touches their hearts is genuine interest and care. Until church members learn to move from event-based friendliness to person-based connection, the gap between the crowd at the barbeque and the congregation on Sunday will remain.

Members outsource evangelism

Somewhere along the way, many church members started believing that evangelism could be delegated — outsourced, like a maintenance contract. The thinking goes something like this: “If we host a big enough event, the pastor or staff can handle the Gospel part.” The event becomes a convenient substitute for personal witness. It feels spiritual without the risk of actually talking about Jesus.

That barbeque church fell right into this trap. The members truly believed the event was evangelism. After all, it had the word “outreach” printed on the flyers. They assumed that by cooking, serving, and smiling, they were fulfilling the Great Commission. Meanwhile, no one shared their story of faith. No one prayed with a neighbor. No one extended an invitation beyond, “Glad you came — see you next year.”

It’s easy to see why this happens. Talking about faith can feel uncomfortable. What if the person rejects you? What if you don’t know how to answer their questions? So, instead of engaging in personal evangelism, many church members hide behind programs. The event becomes a shield — a safe way to “do evangelism” without ever mentioning Jesus’ name.

Here’s the reality: no event, no matter how big or well-run, can replace believers who personally share the hope of Christ. Outreach is never effective when it’s outsourced. The Gospel moves forward through relationships, conversations, and invitations — one person at a time. The barbeque can open the door, but someone still has to walk through it.

The event is not connected to the church’s mission

One of the biggest mistakes churches make is treating big events as stand-alone moments instead of part of an ongoing mission. The barbeque was great — people came, laughed, and ate — but no one ever explained why the church was doing it in the first place. The guests left thinking it was just a nice community gathering. They never connected the event to the gospel or the mission of the church.

When events are disconnected from the mission, they become ends in themselves. The win becomes “a great turnout” instead of “a changed life.” Churches count the number of hot dogs served instead of the number of conversations that lead to Christ. Over time, the event becomes a tradition — a thing the church does because it has always done it. And somewhere along the way, the mission gets lost in the smoke of the grill.

But when an event is clearly tied to the church’s purpose — loving people, making disciples, pointing to Jesus — everything changes. Members begin to see the barbeque not as an end, but as a means. They pray for people by name. They follow up intentionally. They talk about why the church exists and Who it exists for.

A church on mission never wastes an event. Whether it’s a barbeque, a fall festival, or a concert, every gathering becomes a step in the journey of helping people meet Christ. The event ends — but the mission never does.

Originally published at Church Answers.