I’ve been there.
Ministry sometimes feels like a slap in the face, often when you least expect it to happen.
- A good friend turns against you.
- Somebody with more authority makes a decision that affects you negatively.
- Another leader misinterprets your actions and accuses you of wrong.
- One harsh word from another overshadows any good words you’ve heard the same day.
- Someone you led to the Lord tells you he’s walking away from his faith.
Sometimes doing God’s will still hurts.
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What do you do when that happens?
1. Take your pain to the Lord. The psalmist is helpful to me here when he expresses his grief to God, as in Psalm 31: “Be gracious to me, Lord, because I am in distress; my eyes are worn out from frustration — my whole being as well. Indeed, my life is consumed with grief and my years with groaning; my strength has failed because of my iniquity, and my bones waste away” (Psalm 31:9-10). It’s okay to cry out to God from a wounded soul.
2. Remember your calling. I’m so grateful my call to preach was distinct and undeniable for me — so much so that I’ve never been able to shake it. I’ve needed that clarity more than once when I wanted to run in the other direction.
3. Push past the bad to see the good — look for the glimpses of God’s work in your life. Don’t let the present-tense pain cause you to miss the past-tense and present-tense evidence of God’s grace toward you. Seeing just one good act of God can soften the pain of the bad; a glimpse of God’s glory can go a long way toward healing.
4. Recognize that you’re working with sinners. In fact, you’re one, too. It’s usually the case that both of us still have room for growth, and neither of us is perfect. Many folks we shepherd have never really been discipled, and they are still childlike/selfish. Sinful people still act like sinners — but clinging to that truth can help you let go of the pain they cause.
5. Realize that today’s pain often becomes tomorrow’s memory. That is, you may have experienced pain in the past that you thought would never go away — but it did. You felt like you’d always be hurting, always be frustrated — but that didn’t happen. Somehow, God brought you through it in the past — and He will do the same today.
6. Consider confronting someone if needed, but do it prayerfully and lovingly. Don’t let someone else’s actions lead to your own sin. Take your pain to God first (see #1 above), rest in His presence first, and then confront another under the leadership of the Spirit. Model Christlikeness in all your thoughts and actions. Even if others don’t always do the same, you need to show them something different.
7. Trust the sovereign hand of God. As I look back over 44 years of ministry, I remember a number of times when the pain of leading God’s people was real — including some times when “throwing in the towel” seemed to be a viable option. At the same time, though, I simply cannot recall any of those times when God did not use it to grow me in Christ. His purpose was always, always, always greater than my pain. I just needed to remember that truth in the moment. Perhaps you do, too.
As I’ve written these words, I’ve also prayed for any Church Answers readers who might be in the middle of pain right now. Know that you’re not alone.
Originally published at Church Answers.
Chuck Lawless currently serves as Professor of Evangelism and Missions and Dean of Graduate Studies at Southeastern Seminary. A conference speaker and author or co-author of more than ten books, including Spiritual Warfare: Biblical Truth for Victory, Discipled Warriors, Putting on the Armor, Mentor, and Spiritual Warfare in the Storyline of Scripture, Dr. Lawless has a strong interest in discipleship and mentoring. You can connect with Dr. Lawless on both Twitter and Facebook.
