I’m broke, and Valentine’s Day is coming!

Dear Chuck,

Valentine’s Day seems bogus to me; yet I’m feeling the pressure to do something special. Any tips for someone who is broke?

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Broke on Valentine’s Day

Dear Broke on Valentine’s Day,

I feel your pain, having been there a few times in my past. While the holiday may seem bogus to you, it may not be to the one you love. So many feel the pressure to go all out on gifts for Valentine’s. Bombarded with advertisements, it is easy to spend far more than one can truly afford.

Last year, total spending for Valentine’s Day approached $26 billion! The average American spent $136 on significant others and family members. Most money went toward jewelry, but candy or flowers were purchased more than anything else. Gifts were also purchased for pets, classmates, teachers, friends, and coworkers. Yet some research suggests that more than nine billion dollars of gifts were unwanted by the recipients. Ouch!

Expressing your love does not have to be expensive

With a little time and thought, you can express your love in ways that won’t jeopardize your financial well-being. Be creative. Write a letter, make something, or plan an experience instead of buying gifts. Prioritize time with loved ones. Research shows that experiences are often remembered longer than gifts.

Setting a budget will free you from overspending. Giving what you can afford will prevent unnecessary stress. In fact, you can make an eternal impact this Valentine’s Day by committing yourself to be a godly steward. You will demonstrate love to God and your family that can impact generations.

Keep an eternal perspective

Jesus didn’t die on the cross so we could pursue what the world says is important. We were bought at a price, and by His love and grace, we are beckoned to come, serve Him, and build His Kingdom — not our own.

You become a steward when you acknowledge that you are not an owner but God’s temporary manager. And in that role, you are required to be faithful to His purposes. Regardless of whether He’s entrusted you with a little or a lot, seek Him first, and allow Him to have total control over your finances.

Paul told the Galatians: “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Galatians 2:20 ESV).

Our ambition should be to become rich toward God, not rich in the eyes of men. When that becomes your heart’s desire, you’re on the path to hearing, “Well done, good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:23).

Your self-worth isn’t tied to purchasing gifts, so why spend more than you can afford? If you’re worried about impressing someone, perhaps you need to rethink that relationship!

We love because God first loved us. So, love one another free of financial stress and worldly expectations. Here are some no/low-cost ideas my wife gathered:

• Read Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages; then discuss and apply what you learn.
• Create a photo scrapbook.
• Assemble a playlist of your favorite songs.
• Post sticky notes with hearts all over the place.
• Have a scavenger hunt, telling things you love about your person with each clue.
• Go on a walk; attend a free concert, museum, or art exhibit; or make a gift card for a future event.
• Cook a meal together.
• Make cut-out heart cookies, heart sandwiches, or pancakes with hearts from chocolate chips.
• Go out for coffee instead of an expensive dinner.
• Make popcorn; then watch a movie or listen to a book or podcast together.
• Search online for more ideas.
• Ask God for a verse that expresses your heart. Possibly have it framed.

Loving well doesn’t have to cost a lot. Just make people feel special by showing thoughtful consideration of their importance and value to you. Devote time talking together and listening carefully, remembering that we love because He first loved us. 

Crown’s course Money Dates helps spouses and engaged couples connect on the topic of money. Making financial decisions together as a unified couple will help to eliminate financial stress.