How to talk to people who don’t like Trump

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iStock/koya79
iStock/koya79

With President Trump’s inauguration, America is headed in a new direction. It is one that I am very excited to see, and I love how quickly he is instituting a change in policies, but not everyone I know is as excited. I believe that this is a unique opportunity granted by God for multiple purposes.

His grace is an opportunity to turn America away from the progressive policies of the previous administration. It is also a unique opportunity to engage in civil dialog with those who did not vote for President Trump.  I feel in my heart a need for discipleship, both biblically and politically.

It is our goal to do more than educate on the important issues of the day but to also train on how to have civil discourse with others, regardless of their worldview.

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Ask yourself how you would answer these questions:

  • Do I find more connection with a non-believer in my political party than with a fellow believer of a different party?           
  • Can I critique “my” candidates’ flaws as readily as I support them?
  • Can I express my political convictions without ruining my witness?           

Should Christians discuss politics?

Webster’s 1828 Dictionary defines “politics” as: “The science and ethics of government for the preservation of its safety, peace and prosperity; … and the protection of its citizens in their rights, with the preservation and improvement of their morals.” 

The word “preservation” is mentioned twice! In Matthew 5:13, Jesus told His followers, “You are the salt of the earth.” Salt is a preservative. Light brings clarity.

I believe if we have civil discussions about the reasons behind our biblical worldview regarding law and culture, we are being “salt and light,” and it will help preserve our constitutional republic. You may be the only person in someone’s life equipped to do that!

God has called us to be ambassadors of His Kingdom, and He works through us to influence our culture and our nation. Scripture is full of examples of God working through his people to influence the work around them: Joseph, sold into Egyptian captivity, rose to second in command under Pharoah; Esther, a young Jewish girl, used her position to persuade her King-husband to spare the annihilation of the Jews; and the Apostle Paul successfully opposed and persuaded Jewish rulers and Roman authorities.

How to have a civil discussion

Not everyone has the same background, and many may have never heard conservative ideals talked about in a respectful, common-sense way. Some people might not even know that the positions they hold really are conservative!

So, here are some of my favorite tips for delving into civil discourse without losing our Christian witness.

1. Talk to God first

James 1 tells us if we ask God for wisdom, He will give it to us. Pray for humility, discernment and wisdom in how to share your beliefs and bring glory to God.

“Conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of the opportunity” (Col. 4:5).

2. Seek to understand, not to win

No one wins when Americans can’t discuss the issues most important to them. Trying to understand another’s point of view is key. The United States is polarized, and we can’t bridge that divide if we don’t care about others’ fears, desires and dreams. This is NOT a battle of wits … it’s an opportunity to be salt and light.

“Fools find no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing their opinion” (Prov. 18:2).

3. Ask questions

Questions serve so many great purposes. They signal that you’re paying attention. They help clarify, prompt people to elaborate, uncover areas of possible agreement and foster empathy. Questions can also help others examine their own beliefs.

4. Make the other person feel heard

Listen. Don’t preach. In a world where people are shouting at each other and have little positive personal interaction, use simple tools to let others know you’re listening and that you truly care. Don’t interrupt; use body language to show you’re invested. Listening to their input, without simultaneously thinking about how to counteract it, will reflect the love and grace of Christ.

“Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger” (James 1:19).

5. Find common ground

Could someone you view as your enemy ever change your mind? Probably not. Building a rapport is essential. Frame dialogue that builds consensus or finds common facts, values or principles. Build a firm foundation so you can have productive conversations.

You may have to start on “smaller” subjects in order to find common ground. For instance, do you both agree that times are tough economically? Take time to discuss what you have in common — such as the higher cost of groceries — before you attempt to talk about free market capitalism.

6. Watch your tone

When we approach political dialogue with anyone, one way to dispel defensiveness on both sides is to let your speech, tone of voice and demeanor express your desire “to be at peace with all, as far as it depends on you.”  The Bible is full of chastisements about the danger of the tongue and of anger.  Pray that the Lord guides your tongue and speak only words said from a loving heart. 

“The wise in heart will be called understanding, and sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness” (Prov.16:21).

7. Be prepared

According to 1 Peter 3:15 we should, “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.” Similarly to the way we study the word so we can share the Gospel, we need to have a solid basis for our views on political issues … and that view should be based on data, facts, and sound reasoning.

Don’t just regurgitate sound bites, headlines and what others have said. Do your homework and be grounded in truth from original sources. I’m proud that my organization seeks to equip voters with specific insights and articles on many of these public policy matters. 

8. Disengage if needed

Sometimes civility may call for us to disengage. When people are passionate about topics, it’s easy to talk in circles. Take a step back if needed. Let the other person know that you will take time to sincerely think and pray about what they’ve said. Being able to come back to have a follow-up conversation is much more important than both people feeling frustrated, or even worse, getting in your “zinger” and walking away.

“A gentle answer can turn away wrath” (Prov. 15:1).

None of us arrives at our beliefs overnight. We need to remember that political views can have deep roots and be a significant part of someone’s identity. One conversation may not result in sudden change, but it is our responsibility to plant seeds and let God bring the harvest. 

Will you join me this year in letting God use us to build relationships and influence our culture? God has given us a two-year window until the next election, and we may be the only person in someone’s life who can be that light.

“Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person” (Col. 4:6).

Debbie Wuthnow is the president of iVoterGuide and a member of the Board of Directors. She joined iVoterGuide in 2011 as a data analyst and was named president in 2018. iVoterGuide is a one-stop resource for candidate ratings and election information. In 2020, iVoterGuide’s expert researchers gave an in-depth analysis —and overall rating— from a Christian and conservative perspective for 8000+ candidates in more than 3,300 races nationwide. Additionally, iVoterGuide offers election dates, registration deadlines, polling locations, and other information needed to help Americans vote wisely and identify candidates on the ballot who share their values.



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