Ruth Graham said, “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.”
Interestingly, marriage and following Christ have some similarities.
Here are five of them:
1. Something amazing happens at the outset
The front end of marriage, like the front end of following Christ, is loaded up with all the goods. Once you enter into the marital covenant with your spouse, you have access to every blessing of this divine institution. Likewise, once you are born again through faith in Jesus, you are instantly “seated with Christ in the heavenly realms” (Ephesians 2:6). All the resources of Heaven become immediately available to the believer.
Exchanging wedding vows is similar to entering the Kingdom of God. You commit yourself from day one to being faithful unto death. Marriage and following Christ were designed this way by our Creator.
2. Everything you do effects the relationship
Oswald Chambers (1874-1917) wrote, “Even the smallest thing that we allow in our lives that is not under the control of the Holy Spirit is completely sufficient to account for spiritual confusion, and spending all of our time thinking about it will still never make it clear. Spiritual confusion can only be conquered through obedience.”
Unkind words and unloving behavior greatly disrupt marital harmony. Everything we say and do has an impact. Marriage, like the Christian life, is a garden that requires constant attention because weeds pop up suddenly.
Kindness and gentleness are essential. And so always remember: “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1).
Pastor Dave Willis said, “Great marriages don’t happen by luck or by accident. They are the result of a consistent investment of time, thoughtfulness, forgiveness, affection, prayer, mutual respect, and a rock-solid commitment between a husband and a wife.”
3. The journey contains sacrifices, hardships and setbacks
R. Kent Hughes said, “Marriage is a call to die (to self).” Scripture teaches the same thing about following Christ. Living the Christian life is challenging. Therefore, followers of Christ, like spouses in a marriage, must constantly be on guard. Selfishness is an ever-present threat. Jesus told His disciples, “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak” (Matthew 26:41).
Jesus also told them, “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). Marriage involves hardships and setbacks, and followers of Christ experience trials and temptations.
Christian author Ngina Otiende wisely stated, “Marriage is meant to keep people together, not just when things are good, but particularly when they are not. That’s why we take marriage vows, not wishes.”
4. A lukewarm commitment results in disaster
Marriages fail every day due to a lukewarm commitment. Similarly, professing Christians drift away from the Lord when they allow their heart to become lukewarm toward Christ. Jesus warned those in the church in Laodicea: “I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm – neither hot nor cold – I am about to spit you out of my mouth” (Revelation 3:15-16).
A spouse who is lukewarm is far more inclined to cheat. And nothing leads to divorce quicker than infidelity. God’s people in the Old Testament were often lukewarm, and their indifference to the Lord led them to commit spiritual adultery time and time again through the worship of idols.
Poor communication is another huge problem. And it is impossible to communicate well with your spouse if your heart isn’t in it. The Bible states: “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” (Proverbs 4:23).
Jesus told some unregenerate religious leaders, “You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you: ‘These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me'” (Matthew 15:7-8).
5. Marriage and following Christ provide contentment
Solomon wrote, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work; If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).
Getting married, or remaining single, does not make you holier than others. It comes down to God’s plan for your life. For example, the Apostle Paul was given a special gift from God to remain single and be perfectly content with celibacy. He wrote, “I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God” (1 Corinthians 7:7).
The Lord richly blessed us when Tammy and I were married 35 years ago. I cannot imagine a life without her, or without our four children and four grandchildren.
Likewise, I cannot imagine a life without Christ. The contentment and assurance are difficult to describe, but thoroughly enjoyable to experience. Paul’s relationship with the Messiah led him to write, “I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation” (Philippians 4:12). The secret of course is to walk closely with Christ, living every moment for the One who gave His life on the cross for our salvation.
These 5 similarities between marriage and following Christ are profound reminders of the Lord’s wonderful plans for His people.
Dan Delzell is the pastor of Redeemer Lutheran Church in Papillion, Nebraska.
